CRUX POINT Review and Message

Here in the Northern hemisphere we celebrate the shortest day - The Sun move through the 'Crux' (or Crossing point) and begins it's return as the days get longer again.

Traditionally, here in England, being still officially a Christian country, we celebrate the birth of the one we have come to know as Jesus, but who name was most likely Yehshua.

Since we do not know his exact birth date, somewhere along the way, the church decided to co-opt the Pagan mid-winter celebration of the 'Return of the Sun' and make it into the 'Birth of The Son'.

Both celebrations can be seen as symbolic reminders of the birth or 'awakening' to our own True Being, the spiritual being - a bearer of light. Once we awaken to this identity in our heart, and not just mentally to the idea, the challenge is to embody and live from this identity from then on.

This is the  Life Challenge I accepted at my first awakening in 1979 and continue to experience it as a challenge today!

The question I ask at this time of year is does Christmas remind me of this identity or what exactly does it remind me of?

Several near death scenarios have happened to me over the last 25 years (not NDE's - out of body - just close-calls). Even these have not been enough to radically transform my ego-centric view of the world and flip me permanently into 'service to God only' mode.

This year has been something of a re-birth year for me. Quite exciting, but not without suffering and drama. The latter being my dip in health to the point of near death and hospitalisation - both in Bulgaria and again in UK. Severe weakness to the point where I could not walk, dizziness and heart arrhythmia.

But let me start at the beginning in January with a pilgrimage to London to my place of birth and to receive Darshan (blessing) from Mother Meera, my first time ever of seeing her in the flesh.

I was accompanied by Angela Thorne or 'Angel' as I like to call her. We went together as we both wanted to see Mother Meera for our first Darshan. We discovered that we both first saw a picture of Mother Meera in 1996 - quite independently and were both immediately very drawn to her.

First we visited my childhood home in Osterley - the house where I was brought up until the age of 14, and we met the new owner, Pam, an Asian woman who was born in Kenya! (India and Africa connection!) She invited us in and that was for me a magical experience! I saw and touched a couple of things that I had not see or touched for 50 years, including a wooden roof ladder made by my father. Pam had saved it when the builders extended the house into the roof with a proper stairway and she plans to hang it on the wall as museum piece of history of the house! It was a very special trip down memory lane, and a great inspiration for the life review video I made subsequently. I had even taken a guitar and a go-cart to rein-act a couple of childhood scenes for the camera. That was fun! See my video "From Darkness to Light" :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcCXmp0OSwM

[NB. Watch it first without Captions, then with them (click on [CC] bottom of screen on Youtube.)]

   

The visit with Mother was equally special and as I sat in my seat anticipating the moment that I would be right in front of her looking into her eyes some tears welled up in mine. 'Mother' had visited me 'in Spirit' - way back in 1996 and I had cried then too. (That was during a 'Releasing' process workshop in Knysna, South Africa, where my process partner was a friend Manya, who, as it happens was a Mother Meera devotee and had visited her in Germany twice.) So it was hardly surprising that I should feel the presence of Mother Meera and then, as my eyes were closed and I lay on the floor, as I looked in my minds eye, Mother Meera's face appeared over me and was so full of love I just started crying. For anyone who has read "Autobiography of a Yogi" Such a visitation will be less surprising. Such things have happened to and for many people in many historical records and books.

In London this January, there must have been 250 people in the hall and each one in turn shuffled on their knees to kneel in front of Mother and touch her feet while she held their head and then looked into their eyes. By the time my turn came I was totally calm and without a tear. Mother's expression was almost blank - but with great depth - almost cosmic. Angela felt that looking in her eyes was like looking into the universe.

So.....I think after such a pilgrimage one can expect some changes to appear in ones life. One would hope that they would be positive, and now, as we approach the end of the year I can say that there has been a shift and a very positive one for me this year - but as mentioned already, not without drama and suffering.

So near death did I feel, that I had written out various instructions for Dancho and Elly and prayed to Yehshua, God, my guides and Mother Meera. I said that if I found myself still here in the morning I would take it that they have further reason for me to be here and that I would be dedicated to discovering my mission and focussing on it and if they wanted me to be useful in the larger scheme of things that they had better fix up my body!

Neither hospital found anything wrong with me - except for the occasional heart arythm (an extra beat now and then) but it was often accompanied by a physical body jerk and did not feel good. Gradually I made a connection between this and the use of salt and in particular eating tinned tuna fish. Now that I have stopped both the arythms have stopped. Another thing I did for a long while was take enzymes in the morning fist thing and this seemed to help with the chronic fatigue. Also this year I started drinking a coffee mixed with grain coffee substitute plus Guarana. (A South American root which boosts energy and mood). When both of these ran out in Bulgaria I was worried, but nothing happened - my energy and enthusiasm remained good.

I feel better now than I have for several years.

I also feel that I have renewed my relationship with Yehshua and my interest in the deeper meaning of his teachings.

  

I have been researching the symbolic meanings hidden in the teachings of Jesus and his involvement with Mary Magdalene.

Another mini-miracle this year has been the arrival in Voditsa (my village in Bulgaria) of Linda Pitt. A 60 year old woman from North East UK. She has purchased a house and despite its very basic state (similar to mine with no kitchen or bathroom) she has moved in. What is amazing about her arrival for me is that she had an experience when she was 8 years old of finding pages from The Bible strewn in the street. She collected them up and found it was the almost complete book of John. She also had a Christian upbringing and so to her this was something special and in recent years she has studied different religions and in particular the Christian and Gnostic gospels.

We have already had many deep conversations, yet have only scratched the surface of what I feel we may have to share with each other in the future, and clearly we both enjoy chatting about this subject!

Another positive emergence this year has been the deepening of friendships with people in the Free Spirit Camp community. And those who gather for monthly 'devotional' meetings at Jef and Stef's farm near Fordingbridge. I also 'finally' succeeded in Building a geodesic dome there which we used one evening for a shared supper, but later, after I was back in Bulgaria, I heard that the wind had lifted it and taken it 30 meters to where in landed on its side against a tree. Admittedly it was not very well secured down!

BEFORE CREATION - I AM

As the year draws to a close, I feel renewed enthusiasm for creative projects. I have several 'inventions' in process, and an intention to get on and finish the edits on my book BEFORE CREATION - I AM that I wrote five years ago, and to get it onto Amazon.

New Book Cover Design coming soon!